R/dating Over 30

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Dating in your 30s can be a challenge. The bar scene feels daunting, and dating apps are filled with disappointing encounters. It’s not the “30, flirty, and thriving” life that Jennifer Garner promised in “Suddenly 30.” But if you think you’re the only one struggling, take comfort in knowing that you’re not alone.

On the subreddit r/AskReddit, individuals have been sharing their experiences of dating in their 30s. Some of their stories will resonate with you, and others might offer a glimmer of hope. Let’s explore some of the most relatable experiences and success stories:

Realizing that some people “have a child”

Imagine telling someone that you dislike children, only to find out that they match with you anyway. One person even had their date bring along their child, despite their clear aversion to kids. It raises the question: why would someone introduce their child to a stranger who openly admits to hating kids?

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Everything seems more serious when it comes to dating

The days of light-hearted fun dating are dwindling. As we enter our 30s, questions about compatibility, children, serious relationships, financial stability, homeownership, political views, and religious beliefs become commonplace. There’s no time to waste on mismatched partners when we’re expected to be settled down with a family.

So many potential partners are now off the market

Even before reaching 30, it feels like the pool of suitable partners diminishes significantly. It seems that all the good ones have already been taken, leaving behind a group of broken and bruised individuals. Online dating doesn’t make the situation any better.

Who has the time to go on dates anymore?

As a single 30-year-old with a busy life, finding the motivation to go on dates can be a struggle. With a fulfilling career, passions, and a strong circle of friends, dating sometimes takes a backseat. The right person would need to fit seamlessly into your already fulfilling life, almost as if they “fall into your lap.” Friendships become increasingly fulfilling, and waiting for the right person feels more worthwhile.

Plenty of potential dates come with their own trauma

One major challenge is finding someone who hasn’t been scarred by their past experiences. Meeting fun and awesome individuals who suddenly become overwhelmed by unresolved traumas can be disheartening. Recognizing these signs early on can be difficult, but it’s crucial for building a healthy relationship.

The little things can be irritating

As we grow older, our preferences and habits become more defined. Compromising on day-to-day issues such as organizing the fridge or choosing cars becomes more challenging. When combining years of personal preferences with someone else’s, it can be tough to find common ground. However, if other aspects of the relationship align, the effort is worth it.

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But, some people find it’s easier to date once you’ve matured a bit

Some individuals find that dating in their younger years was excruciating. Shyness and low self-esteem plagued their experiences. However, after therapy and lifestyle changes, everything changed in their mid-thirties. The sex is better, communication is more solid, and they’re content with being single. They’ve learned to let dating and relationships exist naturally in their lives, rather than succumbing to societal pressure.

It’s also better to be single than trapped in a rocky marriage

While finding the right person may take time, it’s important to avoid marrying the wrong person. Being alone can be painful, but being stuck in a toxic relationship is much worse. Patience and self-reflection are essential in avoiding unnecessary suffering.

Getting out of your comfort zone can work wonders

If you’re feeling down about your dating prospects, consider stepping out of your comfort zone. One person discovered that going out alone and exploring local bars and restaurants led to unexpected connections. Casual openers can spark long conversations and potentially deeper connections. Sometimes, real people are just waiting to be found.

Plus, when it feels like everybody has baggage, don’t lose hope

Finding the right person might take longer than expected, but it’s worth the wait. There are individuals out there searching for their perfect match, just like you. Remember, everyone carries baggage, and that doesn’t mean a fulfilling relationship is out of reach.

And finally, it can actually be fun to be single

Being alone doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with you. Some people in their 30s choose to prioritize their friends, alone time, and personal growth. Society may pressure us to find a live-in life partner, but finding joy in singlehood is perfectly valid.

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Ultimately, navigating the dating world in your 30s can be challenging, but it’s a shared experience. Don’t lose hope, and remember that there are others out there in the same boat. Embrace the journey and focus on personal growth. The right person will come along when the time is right.


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