Get to Know Your Friend’s Partner: Essential Questions to Ask

Meeting someone for the first time can be a little awkward. You might feel tempted to dive right in and ask personal questions, but it’s important to approach the situation with caution, especially if the person in question is your best friend’s new partner. However, even though it’s your first encounter, there are specific questions that can help you gain insight into your friend’s significant other. These questions will provide you with valuable information without overwhelming anyone involved. So, let’s dive in and find out everything you need to know… for now, at least.

Discovering Their Current Situation

Without prying too much, it’s beneficial to ask questions about your friend’s partner’s current circumstances to determine how compatible they are with your bestie. These questions can give you a sense of whether they’re in the same stage of life as your friend. Here are a few examples of questions to ask your friend’s girlfriend, boyfriend, or partner:

  • What do you do for a living? Do you genuinely enjoy your job?
  • Are you more of a morning person or a night owl?
  • Can you tell me a bit about your friends?
  • Who do you live with?
  • How would you ideally spend a Saturday?
  • What’s your zodiac sign?
  • Have you heard of the concept of love languages?
  • Would you describe yourself as introverted or extroverted?
  • What do you think people often misunderstand about you?
  • How would you describe your work/life balance?

Exploring Their Past

By learning about someone’s family and their upbringing, you can gain valuable insights into their personal values. These questions are designed to provide a better understanding of their background without delving into their individual history. Here are some questions to ask your friend’s boyfriend or girlfriend to gain a deeper sense of who they are:

  • Where did you grow up?
  • Can you share a bit about your family?
  • Do you have any siblings?
  • What was your dream job growing up?
  • How often do you spend time with your family?
  • If your family had to describe you in one word, what would it be?
  • Were you single for a long time before meeting my friend?
  • What lesson did you learn from your previous relationship?
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Understanding Your Friend Through Their Eyes

One of the best ways to connect with your best friend’s new partner is to try and see the world through their eyes. By asking questions about their relationship, you can gain a genuine understanding of what makes their connection special. Here are some questions to ask your friend’s partner that will provide you with a unique perspective:

  • What do you love most about dating my friend?
  • What’s the most challenging aspect of dating my friend?
  • What was the first thing that caught your attention about my friend?
  • Can you share your best date experience with my friend?
  • What’s the most embarrassing thing my friend has done in front of you?
  • What common interests do you and my friend share?
  • What activity do you enjoy most when spending time with my friend?
  • What was the first non-physical trait you noticed about my friend?
  • Tell me the story of how you and my friend met.
  • What’s something about my friend that most people don’t know?
  • Do you feel like your most authentic self when you’re with my friend?
  • If you could travel anywhere with my friend, where do you think they would like to go?
  • Was it easy for you to commit to a relationship with my friend?

Discovering Their Preferences

While these questions are mostly lighthearted and fun, understanding someone’s preferences can give you a good sense of compatibility between that person and your friend. These questions can help you gain insight into their individuality. Here are some examples of questions to ask your friend’s boyfriend or girlfriend:

  • What’s your favorite movie?
  • Who’s your favorite musical artist?
  • What TV show are you currently watching, if any?
  • How often do you use social media, if at all?
  • What’s your preferred way to relax?
  • Do you prefer texting or phone calls?
  • Are you more of a breakfast or lunch person?
  • Marvel or DC Universe?
  • TikTok or Instagram?
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Remember, if this person is a great match for your best friend, you’ll have plenty of time to get to know them better. These questions will serve as a starting point for your relationship with your friend’s partner. Enjoy the journey of discovering who they are and how they fit into your friend’s life.


Watch this video to learn more:


  • Julie Spira, online dating expert

To explore more about first dates and finding a potential partner, check out Six Minute Dates.