My Girlfriend Is Pregnant: Choices and Considerations

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Discovering that your girlfriend is pregnant when you’re uncertain about fatherhood can evoke a whirlwind of emotions. It’s essential to navigate this situation delicately, considering both your feelings and the well-being of your girlfriend. In this article, we will explore the options available to couples facing an unwanted pregnancy and provide guidance on what to do.

Confirming the Pregnancy

The first step is to visit a gynecologist with your girlfriend to confirm the pregnancy. Rather than relying solely on home pregnancy tests, consult a medical professional to ensure the accuracy of the results. This consultation will help clarify your doubts and open up discussions about potential options for the pregnancy.

Understanding Your Feelings

Upon confirmation, take a moment to reflect on your emotions. Why do you feel hesitant about becoming a parent? It’s common for fear and anxiety to surface at this time. You may be concerned about your readiness for fatherhood or the future of your relationship. Identifying your underlying reasons will aid in making an informed decision.

Open Communication

Devote time to discuss your feelings with your girlfriend. Honest and open communication is crucial. Share your concerns, thoughts, and uncertainties, allowing her to do the same. Perhaps you will discover that both of you have reservations about having a child. However, if she wants to proceed with the pregnancy, understanding her perspective is vital. Together, you can seek peaceful resolutions.

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Thoughtful Decision-Making

Once you have gathered insights and had discussions, take ample time to contemplate your decision. Remember, the choices you make are irreversible. If fear or uncertainty is driving your hesitation, consider seeking guidance from relationship and marriage experts. Their impartial perspectives can illuminate unexplored possibilities and help you both reach a well-considered resolution.

Available Options

After careful consideration, it’s time to decide on a path forward. Here are several possible options:

1. Co-Parenting

If you wish to maintain a connection with your child but not marry your girlfriend, this option allows you to support your current girlfriend financially and emotionally. You can share responsibility for decisions regarding the child’s well-being, education, and religious upbringing.

2. Commitment and Family

Choosing to stay together and raise the child as a family is an ideal option if both you and your girlfriend desire it. Planning a wedding within a reasonable timeframe can help solidify your commitment and provide a stable environment for your child.

3. Temporary Foster Care

If you feel unable to make a definitive decision immediately, temporary foster care allows you to place the child with a foster family temporarily. This option offers time to reflect, gather resources, and determine whether you are ready to embrace parenthood.

4. Adoption

If you and your girlfriend are certain that parenting isn’t the right choice, and abortion is not an option, adoption can offer a loving solution. Research the various adoption types available to ensure you make an informed decision.

5. Abortion

If it is still early in the pregnancy, and both you and your girlfriend agree, abortion may be a viable choice. However, it is ultimately the mother’s decision, and respect for her choice is crucial.

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6. Responsibility and Support

Abandoning the mother and child may seem like the easiest option, but it is neither responsible nor compassionate. Taking responsibility and supporting your girlfriend, even if romantic feelings are absent, demonstrates maturity and a commitment to the consequences of your actions.

What Not to Do

While considering your options, it’s equally important to be aware of what not to do. Here are a few crucial points to remember:

  • Don’t bail: Running away will only worsen the situation. Support your girlfriend during this challenging time.
  • Don’t pressure her: Allow your girlfriend to make her own decision while also expressing your thoughts. Work collaboratively as a team.
  • Don’t play the blame game: Remember that neither of you is at fault. Unplanned pregnancies occur frequently, and it’s essential to approach the situation with understanding and empathy.
  • Don’t rush: Take your time to make a thoughtful decision. Rash choices may lead to long-lasting regrets.
  • Don’t shut down: Ignoring the situation and each other will only exacerbate matters. Open communication is paramount for reaching a resolution.


When faced with an unwanted pregnancy, it’s critical to approach the situation thoughtfully and supportively. By communicating openly, considering each other’s feelings, and exploring available options, you can achieve a resolution that respects both your desires and your girlfriend’s well-being. Remember, regardless of your ultimate decision, taking responsibility is vital. Embrace the challenge, and seek the support necessary to navigate this journey together.

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