Being in a relationship means there will be times when our partners face hardship or challenging moments. It can be baffling when our loved ones push us away while dealing with depression, making us question our role and how to help. Instead of smothering them in our efforts to assist, it’s crucial to comprehend why they push us away and how we can respond appropriately. Let’s delve into the reasons behind their behavior and explore ways to support them.
Why Do They Push You Away?
Depressed partners often withdraw from their loved ones, sometimes without even realizing it. Understanding their perspective on why they distance themselves can be more enlightening than interpreting it solely from our own viewpoint. Here are some common reasons:
Lack of Energy and Focus
Depression drains a person’s energy, leaving them with little to spare. When surrounded by other depressed individuals, they may feel pressured to engage in conversations and activities but lack the energy to do so. Even if they choose not to participate, the anxiety of appearing uninterested can further deplete their energy, creating a vicious cycle of self-loathing.
Feeling like a Burden
In an attempt to be authentic, depressed individuals may find it challenging to express enthusiasm or contribute positively to conversations. Sharing their feelings of sadness or lack of motivation might burden others, leading to unwanted attempts at fixing or excessive positivity. Alternatively, some may encounter unsupportive or dismissive responses, reinforcing their belief that they are causing trouble and would be better off alone.
It’s Easier to Be Alone
Given the above factors, it becomes more appealing for a depressed individual to seek solitude. By being alone, they can escape the fear of hurting others or being hurt, eliminating the need to feign emotions or muster energy that they simply do not possess.
How Can You Support Them?
While it’s natural to want to constantly be by their side and shower them with love, such intense reactions can exacerbate the situation. By forcing ourselves to appear happy and neglecting authenticity, we inadvertently contribute to their decision to push us away. To offer effective support, consider the following table as a guide:
|Situation||Typical Response||Appropriate Response|
|They don’t want to do anything besides lay around the bed or the house all day.||They don’t want to talk about what’s making them sad.||They want to tell you what’s going on.|
Remember, attempting to fix everything may not always be helpful. Sometimes, it’s better to weather the storm and remain present for them. However, it’s also crucial to prioritize your own mental well-being in this process.
Taking Care of Yourself
Managing your own mental health while supporting your partner can be challenging. Balancing your actions and words while remaining true to yourself requires careful consideration. Factors such as the length and seriousness of the relationship, as well as the severity and trajectory of the depression, play a significant role in determining the best course of action. In some cases, seeking professional help or confiding in a therapist can provide a supportive outlet for you without burdening your partner further.
Dealing with a loved one’s depression is challenging for everyone involved. As a supportive partner, it’s important to remember empathy and avoid being too hard on yourself. There is no one-size-fits-all approach, but navigating the situation with compassion can make a significant difference. By understanding the reasons behind their behavior and responding appropriately, you can provide the support they need while maintaining your own well-being.
For more advice on building healthy relationships, you can visit Six Minute Dates.