Imagine scrolling through a dating app specifically designed for Muslims and stumbling upon profiles that leave you astounded. Welcome to Minder, the app that claims to be a platform for “awesome Muslims to meet each other,” with the primary goal of finding potential spouses. However, beneath its seemingly innocent exterior lies a world of unique and sometimes controversial desires.
Uncovering the Profiles
One such profile that caught my attention belonged to a young Hindu man named Z. He described himself as an officer with Indian Railways, in his early 20s, and openly confessed to having a “fetish for Muslim girls.” Intrigued, I decided to explore further.
I initiated a conversation with Z, who wasted no time in showering me with compliments. But it was his revelation about his fantasy that left me questioning the dynamics of religious and cultural boundaries. Z revealed his desire for a Muslim woman as a submissive partner in bed, delving into the realm of BDSM and sharing his collection of toys. He candidly admitted that his most stimulating conversations had been with Muslim women, hence his quest to find one on Minder.
A closer look at Z’s profile revealed a seemingly harmless statement: “I am an adventurer and explorer looking for nice girls to hang out with…and further.” Little did I know that these innocent words concealed an underlying truth.
Sadly, Z soon realized that I did not fit his preconceived notion of a submissive Muslim woman, and he swiftly unmatched with me.
It wasn’t long before I encountered another profile, this time belonging to a Hindu gentleman named N. His profile explicitly mentioned a “Muslim girl fetish” and his desire to engage in a practice known as a “golden shower.” As I delved deeper into the app, I stumbled upon even more unique desires and preferences.
One individual, M, shared his elaborate Princess Leia fantasy, focusing on a routine that revolved around withholding orgasm. Another individual discussed his fixation with “Jatt girls,” considering them both strong and assertive in and out of bed. Each profile offered a fascinating, albeit sometimes concerning, glimpse into the complexities of human desire.
The Societal Influence
To understand these profiles better, I consulted a researcher who shed light on the societal expectations ingrained within both Hindu and Muslim men. He revealed that there exists a specific stereotype surrounding Muslim women, one that portrays them as submissive, hijabi, and introverted. These stereotypes cater to the desires of certain individuals and their perceptions of an ideal partner.
The researcher drew attention to the role of pornography in promoting such ideas. Categories such as “Arab Muslims,” “Submissive Muslim Girls,” “Submissive Hijabi,” and “Hijabi” perpetuate the notion that Muslim women are inherently submissive in bed.
The Minder Experience
To gain further insight into the world of Minder, I spoke with Viqar Ul Aslam, a journalist who once worked in the PR department of a dating app. According to his observations, Minder is essentially a replica of Tinder, utilizing a similar algorithm. However, it lacks refined verification systems and often resembles a matrimonial site. Aslam pointed out the presence of numerous sectarian questions upon registration, including whether one identifies as Sunni or Shia. Minder serves as a platform where Muslims can openly discuss their fantasies, owing to the limited space for such conversations within Indian society.
The Psychiatric Perspective
To understand the implications of these fantasies, I reached out to psychiatrist Praveen Tripathi. He acknowledged that fantasies are a natural part of the human mind, and dating apps provide a safe space for people to express their desires openly. However, he cautioned against the dangers of acting on every fantasy, as they may have unforeseen consequences.
The Varied Experiences
While some individuals on Minder use the app as a means to explore their unique desires, others seek genuine relationships. T, a consultant at an auditing firm, shared his experience of initially being drawn to the app out of curiosity. However, he soon discovered that the app’s main focus revolved around matrimonial aspirations, with questions about marriage plans being a common occurrence. Despite this, T acknowledged that the app allows Muslims to engage in casual dating and explore compatibility before committing to marriage.
Embracing the Complexity
The world of Minder offers a diverse range of experiences, encompassing everything from unique fetishes to traditional relationship aspirations. It challenges societal norms and provides a platform for Muslims to express their desires openly. While some may find these revelations surprising or confrontational, they shed light on the complexities of human nature and the countless individual preferences that exist within any community.
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