In the world of lesbian dating, we often find ourselves hoping for a romantic comedy-like experience. We imagine being asked out in a quirky yet perfect way, our date expressing clear interest and mastering the art of seduction. And when the moment finally arrives, fireworks explode in our hearts. But let me be clear: wake up, daydream believer. The reality can be quite different.
You might think that women, being natural seductresses, would excel in the dating world. After all, they are the reason date nights and Valentine’s Day exist. However, it seems that everyone else is better at dating than lesbians.
You’re probably familiar with your fair share of lesbian dating horror stories. Maybe you’ve encountered an ex who showed up on a date seeking career advice, or perhaps you discovered that the person you were seeing was emotionally unavailable due to an affair with a married friend. These cautionary tales often make us wonder if there’s a better way.
The good news is, it doesn’t have to be this way. Imagine if we could all raise the bar when it comes to dating, investing as much time and effort into it as we do into Facebooking. Lesbian courtship could become a brave new world. Of course, change won’t happen overnight. Let’s start small by exploring some key do’s and don’ts.
The Don’ts of Lesbian Dating
When it comes to getting intimate, avoid telling your date about your exes. Using past relationships as cautionary anecdotes for what you want in a partner is unnecessary. Instead, be direct and communicate your desires openly. If you seek someone who can express their feelings like an adult, say so. Save the lengthy stories about emotionally constipated exes for your therapist or bartender. Oversharing can put a damper on the mood and kill the vibe.
Don’t be Cheap
As a lesbian, some people may assume you’re frugal. Prove them wrong. While there may be women who appreciate extravagant gestures, most value thoughtfulness over extravagant spending. A picnic in the park can be more alluring than maxing out your credit card at an expensive restaurant. Show generosity in meaningful ways; pay for her cab ride home the next morning, bring a bottle of wine, or surprise her with a small, thoughtful gift.
Don’t Have Bad Boundaries
Setting boundaries is crucial, especially in the early stages of dating. Don’t introduce your date to your ex or all your friends right away. Give the relationship time to grow before merging your social circles. Avoid putting your date in socially awkward situations too soon. Remember, there’s no rush. A gradual approach can be more enticing.
The Do’s of Lesbian Dating
Pre-Date Preparation
Before the date, take the following steps to make a great impression:
DO ask her out directly
Avoid vague suggestions like “we should hang out.” Instead, be specific and ask her to do a particular activity at a certain time and place. Choose an activity that most people enjoy or something she mentioned having an interest in during your conversations.
DO have something to talk about
Expand your conversation topics beyond lesbian-related subjects, girl parties, mutual acquaintances, or your ex-girlfriend. Prepare for the date by reading a book, catching up on the news, or cultivating a new hobby. Engaging in different topics will show your depth and diversity.
DO put creativity and thought into the date
Treat your date as a canvas that reflects who you are. Instead of defaulting to a standard dinner and drinks, think outside the box. Search for interesting restaurants or plan an activity that will make your date memorable. Show your creative side and captivate her imagination.
During the Date
Once it’s time for the date, remember these key tips:
DO bring something cute
Consider bringing a small gesture of affection, such as flowers, wine, or a thoughtful item that reminds you of her. These little love tokens can have a significant impact and show your thoughtfulness.
DO ask her about herself
Show genuine interest by asking meaningful questions and actively listening to her answers. Follow up with thoughtful inquiries that reflect your attentiveness and intelligence. If you’re aware of her interests, do some research in advance to gain a better understanding. This way, she’ll know you went the extra mile to learn about her passions, even if they aren’t your own.
Wrapping Up
When the date is over, don’t forget these final tips:
DO send a follow-up message
Reach out to her via text or call after the date to express your enjoyment and appreciation for her company. This gesture simply shows that you had a good time and appreciate her presence.
DO keep it discreet
While it’s natural to share the details with your closest friends, avoid broadcasting your dating life on social media. The broader lesbian community doesn’t need to know every detail of your personal life. Maintain a level of privacy and intimacy.
Now that we’ve explored the essentials of lesbian dating, it’s time to put them into practice. Remember, with each stage of dating, you’ll build a stronger connection if you genuinely like her and avoid relegating her to the friend zone. Dating is an ongoing process, and to keep the momentum going, you must continue to invest your time and efforts. Embrace the journey, and who knows—the path to finding love might be just around the corner.
