Being in a relationship can be challenging and baffling at times. Love doesn’t automatically grant us the ability to understand every action of our partner. However, having a sense of humor can go a long way in making things easier. Laughter has the power to get us through almost anything. So, get ready to chuckle, as we present some of the cheekiest relationship jokes around.
Key Takeaways
Relationship Jokes
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My significant other asked to play doctor. I decided to make them wait outside the bedroom door for a whole hour. Patience is key, right?
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Losing a partner can be tough, but in some cases, it’s nearly impossible.
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Kid: “I heard that in some parts of the world, a man doesn’t know his wife until they get married.” Dad: “That’s true everywhere, son.”
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My son asked me what it was like to be married. After telling him to leave me alone, I questioned why he was ignoring me. The dynamics of marriage, right?
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Have you seen the new divorced Barbie? She comes with all of Ken’s belongings. Talk about a fresh start.
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A husband is living proof that a wife can take a joke. Thank goodness for a little humor in our lives!
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Last night, my girlfriend told me I had the body of a god. While I was slightly hesitant to inquire which god, I’m pretty sure she was referring to Buddha.
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I once had a one-night stand that took an unexpected turn. We’re married now! Life is full of surprises.
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I decided to give my husband the silent treatment for an entire week. When it finally ended, he remarked, “We got along so well during that time!” Funny how that works.
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I got my partner a “get better soon” card. They’re not sick or anything, but there’s always room for improvement, right?
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They say true happiness begins after you’re married. Maybe I should have realized that a little sooner.
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One easy way to lose an argument with your wife is to simply start arguing. It’s a guaranteed way to see her point of view.
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Getting married is a lot like going out to eat with friends. You order what you want, but as soon as you see what someone else has, you suddenly want that instead.
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I once told my girlfriend that she was drawing her eyebrows too high. The look of surprise on her face was priceless.
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After our Wi-Fi went down, my husband and I had a nice long chat. Turns out, he’s quite an interesting guy!
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A man is incomplete until he’s married. Then he’s officially finished with being single.
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My girlfriend told me I ruined her birthday. Surprisingly, I didn’t even know it was her birthday. Oops!
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We attended a wedding recently, and my husband tried his hand at being romantic. As the music swelled, he leaned over and whispered, “You’re more beautiful than half the women here.” Smooth move, right?
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My wife is definitely a master of objection. Every time I ask for intimacy, she objects. Guess we need to work on that.
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A lonely man placed an ad in the paper: “Wanted: A wife.” He received hundreds of replies within a week, and they all said the same thing: “You can have mine.” Talk about a surplus of wives!
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A man, shocked by his friend’s appearance, asked, “How long have you been wearing a bra?” His friend replied, “Ever since my wife found it in my car.” Oops, looks like someone got caught!
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I’ve been married for 25 years now, and it takes immense dedication to engage in physical intimacy with the same person for such a long time. I truly admire my husband’s commitment.
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What do wives and bacon have in common? They both look, smell, and taste great. Unfortunately, they’re both slowly killing you.
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Wife: “Do you want dinner?” Husband: “I don’t know. What are my choices?” Wife: “Yes or no.” Simple as that!
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Marriage is spending the rest of your life with someone you want to kill. But not doing it because you’d miss them too much. Ah, the complexities of love!
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I know of no one who is happily married—except for my own husband, of course. He claims it’s pure bliss.
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Marriage: Bet someone half of your worldly possessions that you’ll love them forever. It’s the ultimate gamble!
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For my ex-girlfriend’s birthday, I bought her a mood ring. It turns blue when she’s happy and leaves a big red mark on my face when she’s angry. A win-win situation, right?
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When my girlfriend asked if I ever wanted to get married, I responded, “When I meet the right girl.” Little did I know, that was the wrong answer.
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My wife and I took out life insurance policies on each other. Now, it’s just a waiting game. Dark humor to keep things interesting!
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In any argument, always let your wife have the last word. Anything after that is just the beginning of another fight. It’s a never-ending cycle!
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I asked my wife to let me know the next time she has an orgasm. She said she doesn’t like to bother me while I’m at work. Considerate, isn’t she?
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What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night? A widow. Oops!
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They say when you get married, you receive three rings: the engagement ring, the wedding ring, and the suffering. Just a touch of sarcasm there!
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The best way to motivate your husband to do something is to suggest that he’s too old to do it. Watch him prove you wrong!
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What’s the difference between love and marriage? Love is a beautiful, continuous dream, while marriage is the persistent sound of an alarm clock. Oh, the realities of life!
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The most effective way to remember your wife’s birthday is to forget it once. Trust me, you won’t make that mistake twice!
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The shortest sentence: “I am.” The longest sentence: “I do.” A whirlwind journey from self to union.
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Every morning, I like to remind my wife who’s in charge by holding a mirror up to her face. A subtle way to assert dominance!
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“I love you,” she said. I questioned, “Is that you talking or the wine?” With a mischievous smile, she replied, “It’s me talking to the wine.” Wine has a way of loosening tongues!
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What do a tornado and marriage have in common? In the beginning, there’s a lot of blowing and sucking. In the end, someone is left without a house. An unexpected analogy, right?
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Women fake orgasms, and men fake whole relationships. A humorous take on the dynamics between the sexes.
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Lately, my girlfriend has been really annoying me. I took her out to dinner, and she ordered the most expensive item on the menu: the double Whopper with cheese. Can she not sense my finances?
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I can remember exactly when and where I got married. However, for the life of me, I can’t remember why I got married. It’s a mystery!
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Our marriage counselor suggested we try some role reversal in bed. Tonight, as my wife entered the room, I told her I had a headache. A slight twist on typical role-playing!
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My husband and I had a blissful first 25 years together. Then we met and got married. Ah, the realities of long-term commitment!
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If you want to change the world, do it while you’re single. Once you’re married, you can’t even change the television channel. You surrender the remote!
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Girlfriend: “Last night, I had a dream that you went to the jewelry store and bought me a gorgeous diamond ring.” Boyfriend: “Funny, I had the same dream, but in mine, your dad was paying for it.” Dreams can vary significantly!
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I tried to remarry my ex, but she quickly realized I was only after my money. At least I made her think!
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I asked my girlfriend which she liked better: my face or my body. Surprisingly, she responded, “Your sense of humor.” Guess I should work on my physique!
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What kind of ship has two mates but no captain? A relationship. Smooth sailing requires teamwork!
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How many divorced men does it take to change a light bulb? None, because they never get the house. Divorce humor is always a hit!
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If it’s true that girls tend to marry men like their fathers, that would explain why the mother of the bride is always crying. The cycle continues!
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My boyfriend left me for being too old-fashioned. It’s a shame; I thought we had great chemistry. Oh well!
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What’s the difference between a relationship and a video game? They both start off fun and easy, but as time goes on, they become more challenging. If you manage to make it through without cheating, you’ll shock everyone. Game on!
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My girlfriend says I don’t respect her privacy. At least, that’s what she wrote in her diary. Oops, I stumbled upon a secret!
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Once you’re married, people stop asking about your sex life. They assume you don’t have one. Privacy is a bonus!
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What do you say to your partner during sex? Nothing. I don’t make phone calls when I’m busy. Focus is key!
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Arguing with your partner is like trying to read the “Terms of Use” on the internet. Eventually, you just give up and say, “I Agree.” The fine print of relationships!
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I’m always running late. It takes forever to find all the things that are right in front of my husband’s eyes. Some things never change!
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I thought I had won the argument with my partner about how to arrange the furniture. To my surprise, when I arrived home, the tables had mysteriously turned. The dynamics of decision-making!
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I recently ended a long-term relationship. It’s okay, though; it wasn’t my own. Dodged a bullet there!
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My husband claimed I was rude for yawning during an argument. I calmly explained that I wasn’t yawning; I was merely preparing to speak. Misunderstandings can be amusing!
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People often question why I’m still single. The truth is, I’m single by choice. Unfortunately, it’s just not my choice. The complexities of dating!
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I just had a massive blowout with my husband about vacation plans. I wanted to go to Paris, but he wanted to accompany me. Communication breakdown!
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They say when you meet the right person, you know it immediately. However, when you meet the wrong person, it takes about a year and a half to figure it out. Timing is everything!
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When my wife and I argue, I always get the last word. It usually goes something like this: “I’m sorry. You’re right.” It’s a well-practiced strategy!
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My wife wanted to be treated like a princess for her birthday. So, I invited seven little people over and asked her to make dinner for all of us. Needless to say, she was quite upset. Oops!
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My husband and I have decided we don’t want kids. If you do, please contact us immediately to arrange dropping them off. Parenthood isn’t for everyone!
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How do you keep your husband from reading your emails? Label the folder “Instruction Manuals.” A clever disguise!
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Marrying someone solely for their looks is like buying a house for the paint color. Looks aren’t everything!
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Women view weddings as the beginning of a romance, while men see weddings as the end of romance. Different perspectives, indeed!
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My wife prefers taking the stairs, but I always opt for the elevator. I guess we were just raised differently. Opposites attract!
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What’s the difference between a husband and a boyfriend? Approximately 45 minutes. A significant upgrade!
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I desired a partner who was strong, intelligent, kind, and good-looking. If they had possessed just one of those qualities, it would have been sufficient. A high bar to set!
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What do a wife and a grenade have in common? They both leave you hurt and homeless when you pull off the ring. Beware the explosive power of relationships!
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This morning, I caught my wife putting on her sexy underwear. I knew that could only mean one thing—it’s laundry day. Not quite what I had in mind!
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There are two times when men don’t understand women: before marriage and after marriage. The mysteries of the female mind!
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I love a man with confidence. After all, without that, what’s left for me to destroy? A playful challenge!
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Why do wives use twice as many words as their husbands? It’s simply because they always have to repeat themselves. Repetition is key!
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If it weren’t for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults. Marriage has a way of humbling us all.
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The other afternoon, I witnessed a man jogging naked through my neighborhood. Curious, I stopped to ask him what he was doing. He blamed me for coming home early. An unexpected encounter!
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What do you do when your best friend runs off with your husband? Pity her. Life has a way of surprising us!
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It’s been 20 years, and my wife apologized for the first time ever. She said she’s sorry she ever married me. Progress comes in small doses!
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Wife: “Let’s go out and have fun tonight!” Husband: “Sure, but if you get back before me, leave the light on.” A practical request!
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My boyfriend used to tell me I was one in a million. After checking his text messages, I discovered he was right. Honesty at its finest!
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How can you tell if a woman is divorced? She’s bungee jumping for joy. Freedom at last!
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My husband claimed he needed more space. So, I kindly locked him outside. Problem solved!
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Want to convert your sofa into a sofa bed? Simple. Just forget your anniversary. Sleep on the couch, anyone?
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I can’t believe how much my girlfriend cried over her new haircut. After all, it’s even worse for me—I have to find a new girlfriend now. Priorities, right?
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My husband and I have agreed to never go to bed angry at each other. So far, we’ve been awake for three days straight. Good communication is essential!
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I participate in the world’s most dangerous sport: disagreeing with my wife. It takes courage!
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When a married man says, “I’ll think about it,” it’s safe to assume he still needs to get his wife’s permission. Decision-making isn’t a solo endeavor!
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Why is divorce so expensive? Because it’s worth it. The price of freedom!
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My boyfriend and I met on the internet, and when my mother asked him what line he used to win me over, he simply replied, “I just used a modem.” Ah, the magic of technology!
Couple Jokes
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I have a vegan boyfriend whom I adore. But sometimes, I can’t help but feel like he sees me as nothing more than a piece of carrot. The struggles of dietary differences!
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My partner asked to play doctor, so I playfully left him waiting outside the bedroom for three hours. A lesson in patience!
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I recently read that 4,153,237 people got married last year. I couldn’t help but wonder, shouldn’t that be an even number? A mathematical mystery!
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While my wife was in labor, I tried to distract her from the pain by reading jokes. However, she didn’t seem amused. I guess it must have been my delivery. Laughter therapy gone wrong!
With these jokes, we hope to brighten your day and remind you that laughter is truly the best medicine for a healthy and happy relationship. Relationships can be challenging, but humor and a sense of fun go a long way in keeping the love alive. So, keep laughing, enjoying each other’s company, and creating your unique love story!
To find more relationship humor and deepen your bond, check out our recommended site, Six Minute Dates. They offer an innovative approach to dating that will surely add a touch of excitement to your love life. Happy laughing and happy loving!